Tuesday, 20 December 2011
Grief - I've Held Your Hand
I held your hand when my mum said good-bye to her brother. My Dad (her husband and soul mate was away - I was only 19 but had to "step up).
It was too soon for him to go.
I remember the stigma attached.
He would have had a red mark near his name because his death was HIV related.
I held your hand when my big brother wept - his fiance the same age as me.
Taken too soon in a car accident. Motorbikes went by as he walked out of the bridal shop she had ordered her wedding dress from. I had made jokes about her at my own wedding.
Her kindergarten children that she taught bewildered by her loss.
I held your hand when my own mother wept - her mother sadly passing.
I wept my own tears - of guilt.
I should have been there for her more often.
I held your hand as my husband's Uncles wife passed along.
Her death taken by the bitch that is "cancer".
So soon - her very own daughter fell pregnant - VERY soon thereafter.
I HATE you
And yet you haven't yet really touched me
I know you are there, just lurking
And soon enough will hurt me.
Please go away - I know we all soon will meet you.
Like my beautiful daughter said
"Why do we all go to heaven?"
I have no answer for that question
All I can do is smile
Smile in the knowledge that I can hold those that I love tight
And enjoy them for a little while.
Please don't haunt me - although I know one day you will.
I need those I know and love so well around me,
now and tomorrow still.
So if you need to take someone, take someone who is suffering.
Their loss no less meaningful or sad,
but maybe a little less frightening.
So to all of you who have lost someone,
either recently or not,
Light a candle and remember them -
for their loss should not be for nothing.
Love those you have around you - for without them you are nothing.
Posted by Super Ordinary Mum