Saturday, 27 August 2011

When coloured balls turn into rainbows...

It's rainy and grey outside, M1 is happily playing on the Wii, while M2 is "sleeping" in her room - it is her rest time and it reminds me that the simple things in life really are the best.  I should be washing floors, folding clothes, ironing etc, but instead I am going to stop and reflect for a while.

Recently, I became one of my own worst enemies, slipping into ways that I don't like and into situations which I normally try to avoid.  I became "sooo busy" (my pet hate of an excuse) that I didn't have time to do all thenormal little things.  You know, like language groups at school, or going to the park or baking something tasty (and nutritious) for in the lunchbox.  My paid work had been building up to a major event (2 actually within five weeks of each other) and my 20 hours a week suddenly was more like 30 hours a week.  I was tired, stressed and irritable.  I don't like having to work when M1 and M2 are home (unless they are resting) and it was becoming an often said phrase "no, sorry mummy has to work now - soon").  Of course soon never comes, because then it is time to do the school run, hang out the clothes, cook dinner, help with the homework, etc etc.  You get the picture.  But now my work events are over and I am taking stock.

So what does the title "when coloured balls turn into rainbows" mean?  Well, I have really felt like I had a lot of little balls in the air - and I like to think of them as different colours.  My wish was at the end of my juggling there would be a rainbow, and not a mucky colour of brown on "the floor".  My wish came true!  You see, my rainbow was that I have learned a lot.  I have learnt that people around you will help you if you ask for help.  If you explain to children (older children at least) they too will do what they can - for the team as such.  Also, I have learnt to say no.  No I can't do any more hours, no I am not cooking tonight, we are going to have pizza.  No, I can not possibly do that!

OK, so no major revelations there you are probably thinking, but I have been on a really steep learning curve this year after returning to the workforce, and sometimes you can't see the rainbow, because you are too busy looking at all the different colours.  Stop and look up at that movement, and notice how pretty all the colours are together.  I feel really pumped that my work conferences went so well, with attendances at both events more than expected.  I truly do believe it will, in time, working will make me a better mother.

Now I am going to concentrate on my family life for a while.  I am going to be writing different lists, ones that include de-cluttering and washing windows.  I have an appointment with my kick-arse nutrition advisor tomorrow and have joined the gym - I need some "zen" in my life!    It is time to re-priortise and see if I can now find the pot of gold that is at the end of the rainbow.