Friday, 23 November 2012

Grateful for my children

Today I am grateful for my children.  That they are with me, close by.  
That I can cuddle and kiss them whenever I want to.  

That they are 4 and 9 and not 17.

That each night they are tucked up in their bed, safe, secure and exactly where they should be.

I am grateful that they still have innocence and wonder.  
That to them a good times is fun with friends in the back yard and staying up later than 7.30pm.

So today, I am grateful for my children. 
 That they are alive, happy, healthy, cheeky and here to drive me insane.

Linking up with 52 Weeks of Grateful.

Friday, 16 November 2012

My hands are tied....

I have a very good friend.

My BFF actaully and she is in dire straits.

And I don't know how to help her.

She has two beautiful girls - almost 4 and 18 months.  They are both just gorgeous, but like any kids at this age, tiring and exhausting and funny and demanding.  And all the rest.

She also has a husband suffering from post traumatic stress disorder.  He served our country in the middle east and is now paying the price.  The price for our freedom.

BUT... she is struggling.  I think she has PND.  She is dying inside and desperately trying to keep her head above water.  Hubby is no use to her at the moment.  He is on medication and having counselling, but progress is very slow.  Extremely slow.  Really, really, really slow!

They have just bought a house.  A renovator.  A renovator on a massive scale.  They have no wardrobes in any rooms.  No dining area that is clear to use.  No vanity top in the bathroom.  All this with two girls under 4 and a husband that thinks fixing speakers is more important than getting the house or kitchen tidied up.

She calls me on the edge  and we talk.  I offer what reassurance I can.  We have all struggled at times.  But she is dying inside.  Doesn't see a light at the end of the tunnel.

How can I help her??  My insides are screaming that she should get out.  But where would she go?  Who am I to say she should leave.  But she is dying inside.  She can not be the mum she wants to be at the moment.  She can't devote herself to her girls like she wants to becase, essentailly she is living in a war zone.

Please, tell me how I can help her....?

Challenge Time!

I just read a post by Mandy at A Little Space Like Home and it was like she had just read my mind.

Today I am starting on a journey for and with my kids.  I don't wish to say too much, but let's just say it involves all of us becoming the best versions of us.  

It will be hard at times, but lead to such a great place.
Wonderful memories and rememberings will be had and made.

The experience getting there, which will be led be me will be difficult at times.

But we are all ready for the challenge.
Here is to the next phase!

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Awake to a world of possibility

Today I run the last official "event" for work for 2012.  After today all the stressful bits are over, at least for a couple of months.  After the event finishes tonight, I can officially breath a sigh of relief and think "wow! somehow I did all that!".


Because now I am becoming awake to a whole new world of possibilities.  There is change in the air for this house.  And I think all of it good.

Next year Miss 4 goes off to "Big School".  She is mostly excited about this.  Today she is doing a fashion parade at kindy to show off her uniform.  All the children get to do this.  It is an amazing place, the kindy she goes to, and the fashion parade is all part of getting them ready and excited about the  transition from kindy to school.  How awesome is that.

Next year also means I will have an empty nest.  Yes, both my "babies" will be at school.  That leaves me with TWO WHOLE DAYS at home. Just me.  What to do, what to do, what to do???

I know they will fill up quickly with housework, shopping, school involvement etc but I am grateful I have the opportunity to do this.  I love being involved in the lives of my children and seeing the pride and happiness it brings to their faces.  Just love it.

Next year we are also talking about putting an extension on the top of our house.  We started looking around to buy, but the truth is we both love our deck and back yard, and we are not sure we can replace this.  So the idea of an extension was born.  Again, another possibility.

So right now, I feel in a pretty good place.  My husband is healthy again and back at work part time.  Both my  children are happy at school/kindy.  I mostly like my job.

So, here is to the next phase, which seems full of possibilities.

Friday, 9 November 2012

Grateful for ... Being Needed

What a great thing... being needed. 

  How much do you love the hugs you get when your kids throw their arms around you when you collect them after a day at school?
When they say 'I want my mummy'  or just come up and say "I love you mum".  
Seeing their faces light up like that really does make those harder days worthwhile.

The unconditional love of a child.
It really means everything, doesn't it?

My Miss 4 is especially affectionate and demonstrative.  She is always telling me she needs me.  Always saying "I Love You Mama".  I wish I could bottle this stage of life she is at.  

Anything is possible in her mind.  She is counting down to Christmas AND Easter.  
All with that magic sparkle in her eye. She believe in fairies, and playing fairies is her favourite game.  She wants to be a Ballerina when she grows up. 

This year she "graduates" from kindy.  
At the ripe old age of 4.5 she gets to wear her first "cap and gown" and have an official graduation.  It almost makes me cry just thinking about it now.

My Mr 8 is also affectionate, although I am no longer allowed to give him a kiss if I am wearing lipstick.  Doesn't want the evidence left behind. My time is running out.

I love that he stills runs up to me at the end of a school day.
Feel lucky that if he hurts himself (not the hurting part, obviously), he still wants to snuggle up next to Mum.  Even if he is trying to be very brave.

At the moment he is obsessed with archery and sword fighting.  The the world of rangers and Robin Hood and the Three Musketeers. Oh to be 8 and have the biggest concern being where to find more feathers to tie onto the end of your arrow.

His world is changing, and in some ways he needs me more then ever now.  He is slowly entering the stage of life when he is no longer a little boy, but doesn't want to let it go.  He needs me.  My Miss 4 needs me, her world is changing too.  Off to "Big School" next year.  She is exited and brave and scared and reluctant at the same time.

So here is to being needed, and a reminder that, even though our kids act brave and tough and resilient they still need you.  Still need you to be there and listen, listen, listen.  Cuddle them, kiss them if they let you, and if you can, sneak in a lipstick kiss on their cheek.  

Thank you Miss 4 and Mr 8 for needing me, believe it or not, I need you both too.  More than you will ever know.

Friday, 2 November 2012

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yesterday was my birthday.... the big one, 40!  

And I loved every moment of it.

I was woken at 6.15am by Miss 4 coming into my bedroom saying "Happy Birthday Mama",  dressed in the party dress she had already chosen herself and, 
what we call her, "clompy" shoes.  Just beautiful.
 Joined soon after by Master 8 bounding into the bedroom, 
not to be left out of the celebrations.  Presents and cards exchanged.

What a great way to start a day!

The rest of my day was spent eating, talking, drinking (only a little bit) 
and receiving lots of lovely text messages.

Truly wonderful.  The best birthday ever.  I was surrounded by family. 
 Happy, healthy, loving family.

Made me realise that family truly is everything.  
How lucky I am to have mine all around me.  
I hope they stick around for the next 40 years.