Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Friend or Foe?

It seems the Internet can be an ugly place.  

These past weeks, one of my favourite websites and Facebook pages Lovely Living - Love the Life Your Living and Jen specifically has been the subject of cyber-bullying.  
How rude people seem to be getting.  

People seem to think that just because you are writing and not talking, you can say what you like.  Not true people.  If you would not say it in person, don't write it down.  And putting "in my opinion" or "just saying" after it doesn't make it OK either.

Same goes for Facebook.  I have always had a love/hate relationship with Facebook, and today, it seems very justifiable.  People de-friend you for reasons you don't know.  People that look you in the face and smile like everything is OK.  Do you know what?  It is not OK.  Why do people do this?

Facebook.  The world was a much simpler place without it.  Yet, I love it because, it allows me to keep in contact with people that are hard to keep in contact with.  Old school friends, friends who live overseas or in different states.  You can follow and share the adventures of some as they travel.

It saddens me that people can be so flip about things these days, and hide behind differences of opinion.  Friendships are complicated - but do they need to be?  No.

I am no longer wasting time on these things. I had enough of this sort of angst last year.  I have moved through it now and thought all was good again.  So enough of my energy has been wasted on this.   I know who my good and true friends are.  And if you are one of them, thank you for being in my life.

It's time to keep focusing on the good in life.  To only invite good energy in. I am a good and loyal friend.  Honestly, if you don't like me, you don't deserve me.

So here is to positive energy.  
Take all your bad energy, place it in a bottle and release it as butterflies into the world.  
That's what I am doing.

Thursday, 12 April 2012

As school goes back

I love this time of year.

The air gets crisper.

The boots and scarfs can come out and be worn.

My two Monsters sleep in a little longer due to the cold and snuggling under their covers.

It also feels like a fresh start.

I seem to be writing about this a lot, but things take time and I have learnt to be kind to myself as my dear mum says.

So, as these cool days wash over me, and the school holidays come to a close, I am actually really looking forward to this next phase. This next term.

Yes it will be very busy.

It took an hour and a half yesterday for hubby and I to co-ordinate calendars for the next term.  But busy can be good.  It means you get a bit more organised.  A bit less worried about the less important things in life.

So, come with me.  

Embrace the change of season.  

See it as a chance for change.

Become what you are meant to be.

Keep embracing the ordinary.

Sooz xxx

Monday, 9 April 2012

Travel. How I Miss Thee...

A very good friend of mine is currently travelling with her beautiful family in Europe.  Miss 8 and Mr 12 her and her hubby.  They are travellers from way back.  They, like us lived in London for a while before becoming parents.  Difference is, they never let the travel bug leave.

Her and her hubby work hard every day to give their kids this travel experience.  They also made some good investments before they had kids.  Good luck to them I say!  I am jealous in a very happy way for them.  One day hubby and I will take our kids on a trip to our favourite places.  Soon.

I have  been following their most recent travels on Facebook and looking on with jealousy (the good kind), longing and wistfulness. Hubby and I have visited those places and the longing I have to go back is palpable.  I love the fact that Miss 8 climbed the Duomo in Florence in a tutu - I climbed them all in heels (before SJP and sex and the city where even heard of).  I love that they are discovering little markets and bakery's in France, (never got to know this city/country well enough) and Italy, and that they are creating what I call "Real" memories.  Much like the velveteen rabbit.

When hubby and I lived in London we did not even own a computer.  All our photos are on negatives.  Do you even know what this means??  We both had email at work and did not think it necessary to invest in a computer for home.  How dark ages that seems now.  Wow.

I miss travel and all that it involves.  The planning, the dreaming, the discovery and the knowledge that in the scheme of things some things have moved forward for the better and some things have stayed exactly the same as they were  1000s of years ago.

We have just celebrated Easter here.  I too remember witnessing an Easter Parade in Atrani on Good Friday.  It was magical, I don't care what religion you are.

Travel broadens the mind, builds resilience and shows us experiences outside our comfort zone.

I am grateful I had the chance to travel, and hopefully will do again some day.   Happy travelling Carlie and family.

Miss you, and can't wait to catch up and relive it all with you soon.

Sooz xxx

Friday, 6 April 2012

Where's my mojo gone?

I seem to be in a bit of a writing rut.  I have lost my mojo if you will.

My blog is one of the things in my life that is truly just for me.  My hubby knows I write one, but doesn't read it - bit to stream of conscious for him (he was never a SATC fan either).  But each time I sit down to post - nothing!

I have read some great posts by all the usual suspects these last couple of weeks and two have really stuck with  me.  Daisy over at Daisy, Roo + Two and Bron, at Maxabella Loves

Daisy, my heart broke for you reading this.  Tears were literally rolling down my cheeks. 

I have been blessed with two healthy children, but even in that time, both have been admitted to hospital.  M1 (who is now 8) was only 9 months old when he was admitted with Rotovirus.  The doctors had to hold him down while he was screaming to get the drip in. They would not let us be in the room.  I stayed in for 3 nights with him waiting for him to get better. The doctors told me I should not breastfeed him because he was getting everything he needed from the drip.  That lasted about 4 hours until I thought "screw that".  He wants his mum and that's what he can have. 

I have also watched him be "put to sleep" twice - just for simple ear operations, but NOTHING  prepares you for seeing you child lying there lifeless - eyes open.  Tears still coming now as I think about it.

Beautiful M2 (now Miss 4) has also had the experience of being "put to sleep".  The panic in their eyes as the cry, scream and look and reach for you while a stranger holds a mask over them is gut wrenching.  Again, I still cry recalling those images.  She had a double hernia operation (before she was 1)  and is all good now. Scar not even visible.  I breastfed her as soon as I was allowed near her. Comfort she wanted and this, only I could give her.

Heart surgery - imagine watching your child have to endure this.  They can't understand.  And they might not survive.  You are their only "normal".  And to think some parents have the gall to suggest to these parents, that they "might like the extra attention" that comes with such a terrible thing.  My blood boils.  Daisy, how you have not punched them I don't know, and if I ever get to meet you I will throw my arms around you and say YOU AND OSCAR ARE THE BRAVEST PEOPLE I KNOW.

Then there was Maxabella, about wishes.  She is absolutely right.  Her post inspired my own moment of clarity because she is absolutely right.... only YOU can be accountable to YOU.  And until you do, stop whining and wishing for more because what you already have now is probably pretty damn awesome.  And if it is not, then man up, take some responsibility, make a plan and get on with it.

Anyway, maybe my mojo is coming back.  Maybe I just need to be more me and stop worrying about everyone else.  My husband tells me I try and do too much (what working mother doesn't?).  Maybe he is right.  But I want to try and do it all.....

Where has my mojo gone?  Why did it go away?

If you find it, please send it back to me.

Sooz xxx

Sunday, 1 April 2012

Moments of Clarity

Lately I have been reading a sweet little book by Miranda Kerr entitled Treasure Yourself.  It is an easy "pick up/put down" sort of book.  One that has short chapters and "to the point" points.

I don't know why, but last night it helped me have what Oprah would call an "ah ha" moment.  A moment of clarity if you will.  It was all about making statements that are more meaningful. 
Like this:
instead of writing down 
 "I wish to be fit and healthy"
write down
"I am on my way to being fit and healthy".

Now at first, this rearranging of words seems a bit simple and trite, but as I lay there and let the idea sit with me a little, I really liked it.  I am going to try this out and see how it goes.

You see it had been a perfectly normal and uneventful Saturday night, like most of them are in our household - sitting with hubby half-watching a DVD while enjoying a couple of glasses of wine.  I realised that this was not what I wanted (not the hubby - he is my rock!).  I meant the regularness of wine and in-activity and lack of engagement with each other.  

Wine was put down, a bath run and I made myself think about what it actually is that I do want.  Simple ideas can lead to big changes.  I started on this journey (I hate that word, but alas can't think of another one)... earlier in the year, but struggled to commit and get the results I was after.  Thanks to the book the ah ha moment was only I can make myself accountable.

So with this in mind, today I start over.  It is going to be difficult, but I am now committed to myself to get there.   I don't know where it will take me, but hopefully to a stronger, fitter more balanced happy me.  The best me I can be.