When is too much too much?

Recently my son (M1) transitioned from a small primary school to a large all boys school.  He is in grade 5 and is loving it.  Mostly.

Academically and sports-wise he is being challenged, and this is great for him.  It is one of the main reasons we changed schools.  He needed more boys to test himself against - in all aspects of his education.  He is certainly getting that.  He has made some new friends, mates, some of which will hopefully develop into lifelong friendships.  Hes made sports teams and is in the band.  All great stuff.

Overall he has settled in very well.

Trouble is, there is a price.  Commitment is hard and it takes a toll.  He is tired.  Exhausted.  To the point he has been crying those horrible exhausted tears because he doesn't know how he is feeling.

And of course there is homework, sports practice and band and trumpet practice. And homework.  Did I mention that already, the homework?

 

I was cradling him in my arms the other night while he cried. Not tears streaming down his face but those tired sobs where your bones are just seemingly aching from the weight of it.

We talked about his commitments, and how he could give something up if he wanted to.  The thing is he actually wants to do more.  He bounced out of bed the next morning saying it was basketball try outs.  And he couldn't wait.

Sigh.

How do you explain to a 10 year old boy about bone tired and exhaustion?  This  is likely to be his normal now for the next, oh 15 years.  Isn't it?  Is it?  How do you explain about balance and exercise and life and how he can stop and do less when he sees you trying to do it all.  All the time.

I soothe myself with the answer he gave to this question the other day.

Me:  "What do you like most about your new school?"
M1: "That there is other smart kids that are like me.  And the sports.  Getting to play sport for the school".  

This, was music to my ears.  Finally he has other kids to be smart with, play sports with, play music with, without being labeled.  The reason we changed schools.  At least we got that right.

So, now to figure out the balance.  How much is too much?

Holidays....All about Regrouping

The school holidays are here - well halfway over really.  Hooray to holidays!

No rush in the mornings to get the children dressed and ready. 

No school lunches to make.

No "come on, come on, come on!!!" to meet the deadline of the dreaded school bell and work deadlines.

Ahhhh... you can almost feel the shoulders relaxing as I write this.

I am spoilt, my husband is a teacher, so the holidays for me actually mean handing over the reins to him while I go off to work... nice.

Reflecting back on my year, it has not been quite what I wanted it to be.

I am still struggling to be on top of some things. Some things I have managed to conquer. 

So I am going to use the break to plan.  To breathe.  To re-energise.  To re-group.

I am pleased to say that I have managed to address some issues.  I had some wonderful mentoring sessions with a great friend.  These helped me clarify some of the things I needed and wanted to do and "fix" in my life.

We have had great family times together.  Hubby ran the 10k Brisbane Bridge to Brisbane a year to the day after undergoing open heart surgery.  He continues to heal, inspire and amaze me.

My baby girl commenced "big school" and excelled.  She made friends, learnt to read and generally loved the experience.

My Mr 10 year old continues to amaze and astound me with his intelligence.  Yet, somehow, generally he keeps his ability to mix with everyone and be a gentle, friendly soul, always willing to help teach, inspire and lead.  Still also love his sports and is now a blue belt in Hapkido.

There were sad times too - two of my very dear friends split from their partners.  Devastating.  But seemingly becoming more and more common.  A sign of the pressures of modern times or just more accepted now to admit defeat????

All in all 2013 has been kind to us as a family.  I personally may not have made the progress in some areas of my life that I would have liked, but I feel like I am in a good place now.

My word(s) for 2014???  Commit.  I commit to the things I say I will and want to do.

Slow.  I will try not to rush my children and family through things.

Present. I will try and live in the present.  And learn to breathe before I do anything.