Grief - I've Held Your Hand

Dear Grief,

I held your hand when my mum said good-bye to her brother. My Dad (her husband and soul mate was away - I was only 19 but had  to "step up).

It was too soon for him to go.

I remember the stigma attached.  

He would have had a red mark near his name because his death was HIV related.

Dear Grief,

 I held your hand when my big brother wept - his fiance the same age as me.  

Taken too soon in a car accident. Motorbikes went by as he walked out of the bridal shop she had ordered her wedding dress from.  I had made jokes about her at my own wedding.

Her kindergarten children that she taught bewildered by her loss. 

Dear Grief

I held your hand when my own mother wept - her mother sadly passing.

I wept my own tears - of guilt.

I should have been there for her more often.

Dear Grief

I held your hand as my husband's Uncles wife passed along.

Her death taken by the bitch that is "cancer".

So soon - her  very own daughter fell pregnant - VERY soon thereafter.

Dear Grief

 I HATE you

And yet you haven't yet really touched me

I know you are there, just lurking

And soon enough will hurt me.

Dear Grief

Please go away - I know we all soon will meet you.

Like my beautiful daughter said

"Why do we all go to heaven?"

I have no answer for that question

All I can do is smile

Smile in the knowledge that I can hold those that I love tight

And enjoy them for a little while.

Dear Grief,

Please don't haunt me - although I know one day you will.

I need those I know and love so well around me,

now and tomorrow still.

So if you need to take someone,  take someone who is suffering.  

Their loss no less meaningful or sad,

but maybe a little less frightening.

So to all of you who have lost someone,

either recently or not,

Light a candle and remember them - 

for their loss should not be for nothing.

 Love those you have around you - for without them you are nothing.

Memories in the Sand

Every year we make the pilgrimage to "the beach" for our 2 weeks of rest and relaxation, after finally making it to the finish of the school/working year (they are one and the same for us). 

Each year as it draws nearer a great sense of anticipation starts to build within the family - especially with M1 who looks forward to the time that daddy, especially, spends with him.  

M1 loves to swim, boogie board, make sand castles and all the usual kid stuff. 

M2 this year is also getting a better understanding of what exactly our holiday means to us.  

This year she has "blow up togs" which means hubby and I can sit on the edge of the pool and watch the kids playing and not hop in unless we want to.  Ahhhh......... bliss!

It is amazing the difference of M2 being just that little bit more independent and able to cope with the rigours (yes rigours) of beach life make to a holiday.   It is tiring going to the beach, going for swims, bike rides, walks and trying to keep up with you big brother. It does generally ensure a sleep through the day though!

I think holidays (or vacations if you are American) are a really important part of childhood.  It is during these times great memories are made.  Traditions are started that will then be followed with your family.  

I remember going to the beach every year for a holiday with my family, well since forever really.

Summers in Queensland are about the beach.

They are about watching the cricket in the middle of the day when it is too hot to be outside.

Summer is about mango's and ice creams. 
This is what are holidays are about.
It is a privilege to be able to share this with our children.
I hope they are storing up the memories and will one day share and pass them on to their children.